Hetalia: Religious Powers
by Ame to Yume
Summary: We've had human representations for everything: countries, capitals, even planets! But how about the religions? If you are easily offended, don't read.


_Summary: We've had human representations for everything: countries, capitals, even planets! But how about the religions? If you are easily offended, don't read. _

**I was looking up different religions on the internet, and I thought: what if religions had human personifications as well. Thus, this was born. It's mainly on here to poke fun at fundamentalism, but you can read it however you want. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, nor do I own religion. Hetalia goes to Hima-papa and religion goes to whoever owns it. **

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Hetalia: Religious Powers

Chapter One 

"Well, I think this meeting can convene." said Christianity in a boisterous voice, lifting one finger "I'll go first: about those kids in Africa, I say we pray for them. God will totally help them."

"Good for you." said Judaism, folding his arms over his chest as he glared hazel daggers at Christianity "I'll actually give those kids a damn sandwich."

"If Christianity and Judaism do not agree," Satanism intervened with a smug look on his impossibly pale face "how can I be superior by dissing them both?"

"Ugh, you wanker!" Wicca shouted from a distance

She and Satanism started brawling.

"I agree with Christianity..." Shintoism said weakly, causing Islam to bash his fist on the table

"Man up or I'll beat you with my peace prize!" said the latter

Hinduism shook his head in disappointment "Younger religions are so immature. I think I'll appeal to the only organ of theirs that seems to work. Do you guys want to sample some sweets?"

"We'll just get hungry again!" Wicca and Satanism chorused and resumed their brawl

Shouts grew louder and louder in volume. People argued about more and more topics. It was starting to get tiring.

Finally, Atheism couldn't take it anymore. He slammed his hand on the table, just like Islam had done with his fist earlier. "Alright, that's it! Since I'm the only religion (technically I am not a religion but bear with me) who knows how to run a meeting, we'll follow my rules. Everyone gets exactly eight minutes; no more, no less. Who wants to speak goes first, but not in a way that mocks any salute some of us would rather not remember."

Judaism remembered, and shuddered.

After a long pause, Agnosticism raised her hand.

Atheism pointed at her. "Atheism recognizes his sister Agnosticism!"

Agnosticism stood up, albeit a bit nervously "Um...I hope you don't mind me asking but...which side should I take?"

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Character descriptions:

Christianity is mostly like America, since they're both on about "saving" people. Unlike America, though, Christianity is really bipolar and can go from being a Bible-thumping asshole one second to preaching love and tolerance the next. Needless to say, the other religions see him as an ass.

Judaism is mostly like England, because they're both uptight and snobbish (in addition to both being related to blithering idiots). Also, like England, Judaism can be really sweet once you get to know him. Also, no matter how much he tries to be civil with him, Germany still freaks the hell out of him.

Islam is the younger brother of Judaism and Christianity, and he is very tolerant until you get on his bad side, in which case he won't hesitate to resort to violence. Also, surprisingly, he treats girls pretty well, whereas Christianity tends to treat girls like crap.

Hinduism is the oldest existing religion, and thus the wisest. He tries to act as a big brother figure to the other religions, but most of the time, it backfires horribly. He is the older brother of Buddhism and Jainism.

Buddhism is one of the calmest religion out there, and will only speak his mind when it's absolutely necessary. He is the younger brother of Hinduism and the twin brother of Jainism.

Shintoism is Japan's religion, and thus acts a lot like him, which includes sensing the mood and refraining from speaking.

Atheism, though not really a religion, is very organized, thoughtful and disciplined. He can be insensitive and mock others at times, but most of the time, he's OK. He doesn't believe anything until he's seen it. He tends to argue with Christianity, Islam and Judaism a lot, but he stands up for other religions, such as Wicca and his sister Agnosticism.

Wicca is one of England's religions, besides Anglicanism. She thinks all religions should get along, is very peaceful and wouldn't lift a finger against someone unless they make her truly mad (Satanism is a special exception because other religions such as Christianity tend to confuse her for him and that makes her mad). She hangs out with England a lot, and thus his speech patterns and tsundere-ness have rubbed off on her.

Agnosticism is really undecided, very timid and would constantly be pushed around by other religions if 'big brother Atheism' wouldn't stand up for her.

And does Satanism need a special description? Well, he's a jerk, cares about no one but himself and thinks he's all high and mighty. The other religions cannot stand him for more than a couple of minutes.

There'll be many more as the story progresses.

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**A/N: On a side-note, I was listening to "Beauty and Broken" by British Visual Kei band "Machina Shogunate", while I was writing. You should really check it out if you have time to kill. It's really beautiful, and I personally think it fits England like a glove (whenever I hear the line "Don't pretend there is no sense of doubt/When it feels that life has cast you out" I think of the Revolutionary War). Also, V-zohn (the vocalist) would make a perfect VA for Nyo!England, IMO. /shot for shameless advertising **

**Love, **

**Ame to Yume**


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